oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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