My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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