I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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