i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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