I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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