Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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