i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do vagina's smell?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
