Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
