Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
a search helicopter?!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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