Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
