Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
