if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
