my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
