is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
