I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I could fuck to npr.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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