If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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