nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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