oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
