her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
