so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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