And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
