I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
