you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
