when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
