If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
