Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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