$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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