I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We're too hungover to prance.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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