remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
