They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
