GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
