I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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