What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
