First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
