i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
