How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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