So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
