You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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