my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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