why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
