My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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