the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
