Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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