All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
