you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
