If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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