was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
