I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
