Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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