This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
