Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
